Review: S05 Ep01 - Polygamist Debt Threat

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Kody doing what he does best...

When we last saw the Browns, they had just plopped down $20,000 earnest money on 4 plots of land in a gated cul-de-sac. The developer gave the Kody and his Kodettes only 30 days to come up with "affordable" financing. Because he is a total idiot, Kody decides to tell the younger children the Kodettes put down the money to hold the plots.

Considering Kody's track record of disappointing his family with those pie in the sky dreams of his, it was not surprising that the kids were unimpressed.

In this episode it's now two weeks later, and  the Browns are still mucking around, trying to get their financial ducks in a row so they can present a letter of financing to the developer. But there's a glitch. They find out Robyn's credit is really, really bad.

Poor, poor Robyn. It has now come to her new family's attention that Robyn doesn't have good credit. Now, I wonder why that is such a surprise, being that Kody and his original Kodettes have all filed bankruptcy (in 1997, 2005,and 2010). And now they find out that Robyn's credit is even worse than theirs? Poor dears. They thought they were getting a trophy wife, but she turned out to be a booby prize instead.

So like any self respecting deadbeat, she heads on over to a lawyer (!), whose practice specializes in bankruptcy, to find out what her options are. What a surprise when Robyn used the name Sullivan instead of Brown with the receptionist. Really, what was the point of that when she's a Brown on twitter and facebook. Guess she wanted to use her legal name with someone in the legal profession.

Ah...if only I could have been a fly on the wall at that first meeting, when the cameras were not present! I imagine it went like this:

Robyn: Is it too late to file for bankruptcy? I need to qualify for a mortgage loan in 2 weeks.
Lawyer: Are you serious?

But what we see instead is the lawyer asking trivial questions that basically boil down to why is Robyn sitting in her office wasting her time. The lawyer did mention possibly settling with Robyn's creditors, but its obvious Robyn's problems do not merit an attorney's expertise. Not in a 2 week time frame. So, as Robyn clumsily leaves the lawyer's office with baby Sol in his huge carrier, we hear her explain she's on her way to  a credit repair guy that the lawyer suggested (wink...wink) she see. Yep, someone who may be able to raise her abysmal CBR score sufficiently to make the mortgage lender happy.

While Robyn pondered how her lack of credit worthiness could prevent her sisterwives from getting their McMansions, Janelle is on yet another meeting with Mona the real estate lady in the model home to discuss keeping her costs down. Sorry, but I don't understand why this segment was necessary, however, it's interesting that Janelle still has a lot of resentment against Meri. Janelle pointed out that although she always was the main breadwinner for the family, she still had to share her income equally amongst her sisterwives - to the point where Janelle resented the fact Meri could spend money on a non essential item, where Janelle had to pay "a big chunk" of the household debt and couldn't. By the time they moved to Vegas, Meri was insisting that her rental house be just as large as the other wives, even though she only had one child and money was tight. I simply don't buy Janelle now claiming that she understands why Meri warrants having a big house, especially when Janelle says in a dry,  rather matter of fact manner " I don't care what she does." Janelle does care, and it still bothers her, but she has given up the fight. So, while Meri dreams of her wetbar, Janelle meets with Mona to see how she can reduce the cost of her home. And, of course, Kody is no where in sight. He must be 'working' hard with Robyn.

Now that My Sister Wife's Closet online store is now the official income source for the sisterwives, Kody and his Kodettes decide to get professional pictures shot for the MSWC website. But wait, Kody doesn't think it's appropriate for him to be included in the photo shoot. After all, he says, "...I don't have a sisterwife...Why do I need to be in the picture?" For once, Kody is right. But in typical Kody fashion, instead of leaving, he stays and hogs it up for the camera anyway. The most shocking aspect of this whole photo shoot was Christine's harebrained reason why Kody should stay. You see, in Christine's rather weirdly constructed world, successful business women always include their husbands on their websites. I've never seen that, but damn, that lady must be on some powerful stuff to hallucinate like that. And frankly, the whole discussion about Strong Women was ridiculous. Totally ridiculous. Let's hope the photographer comped this photo session considering all the free advertising he received. Although I do think he was getting just a little bit testy dealing with the idiocy, sending out a vibe that asked 'Why am I wasting my time photographing these people'.

Maddie had her turn on the couch between her parents Janelle and Kody. As suspected, Maddie marches to the beat of a different drum (I always loved that song). She doesn't want sisterwives. She doesn't want to share her husband. She IS NOT Mariah, who hangs around with Mormons, thank you very much! Although towards the end of the segment, Maddie did appear to be teary eyed and her body was leaning more towards Janelle than Kody.  All in all, Maddie seemed like a very normal, likable teen.

Moving on, the show turned it's focus on someone that's been talked about, Robyn has tweeted about, and even a few times, has appeared in pictures but no one knew for sure who she was. Turns out, she's Robyn's little sister, Taralyce Sullivan.

Now, I have a fairly good memory. When Robyn was pregnant, she tweeted about paying her sister to clean her house during the summer. I thought this was strange, being that Robyn had so many bonus children she could ask to help her out. Now we find out Tara's still with Robyn, but now as a live in babysitter while Robyn "works". And she will be living with Robyn when she moves oops, IF she moves into the cul-de-sac house. Was it just me or did Kody ogle Taralyce? This whole arrangement seems strange to me, I think we are looking at wife #5.

With Kody by her side with his eyes on Tara Sol, Robyn explains to her that she and Kody are off to see the credit repair guy.

As they enter the credit repair office Kody and Robyn meet Harry, who likes to wear shorts and bowling shirts. He tells Robyn the bad news that not only does her credit sucks, she's got a $4000 credit card balance that is sucking the life out of her credit score. Then Harry mentions the fact that Robyn's got three last names going on in her credit file - what's up with that. "Oh, that was an accident" she says. Yeah right, whatever. Harry does tell her he was able to settle the $4k bill, but doesn't mention for how much. Here is yet another business getting free advertisement on Sister Wives. Credit repair businesses are notoriously EXPENSIVE. Amazing how Robyn's new pal didn't mention how much this was going to cost her.

Okay, there's just a couple of things I need to get off my chest...

Robyn, please stop blaming your divorce for not paying your bills. You got divorced in 2008, but you married Kody in 2010...you've been living in Las Vegas (from Kody's own admission at the beginning of the episode) for 18 months. You had at least $5000 that you wrote as earnest money two weeks earlier...and you've used money to start the online store, so why didn't you use those funds to pay down what you owed instead? And now you're spending money to a credit repair company? While Janelle is trying to cut costs by giving up a bedroom or two, here's Robyn spending money to a credit repair company. Even if her fees were comped, it still shows how warped Robyn's and Kody's thinking really is. It's basically saying we don't have money to pay for these houses and our credit is so bad we can't qualify for normal financing BUT we can waste money going to an attorney and credit repair company to tell us, Hey you need to start paying some bills. And here's an FYI Browns, you don't need a credit repair person or an attorney to call a creditor and ask for a settlement balance. You could do that yourself, for FREE. You pay the settlement balance, the creditor sends the mortgage lender a letter. Done.

So enough with the stupid tears, OK? Show some responsibility for once.



I think they need one more bottle of that green kool-aid!!

Next, we have Mariah's segment. She's being inducted into the National Honor Society...for smart people she guesses (oy vey!) and thinks it's going to look good on her college application. Mariah wants to be a doctor, which is very similar to the Big Love character CaraLynn (who was 3rd wife Nicki Grant's daughter).  CaraLynn was very smart, and also aspired to be a doctor - one that would  treat animals as well as humans.  Another thing I noticed: Mariah's mother is a first wife, and her paternal and maternal grandmothers are both first wives. I wonder if Mariah also wants to be a first wife, because her family perspective has been different from her half-siblings being that she's never had to share her daddy time with a sibling. In fact, when has she ever shared anything? I pity the women who will be her sisterwives some day!

Back at Mona the real estate lady's office, Mona is handing out the "You Are Approved" letters to the wives. Robyn's letter is last, and of course, she puts on her best sad face. But wait! Robyn's Loan Was Approved! Yay! Happy smiles and tears, until they get the credit repair and attorney bill.

Call me cynical ( Ms Jinx if you're nasty) but I think this entire show was full of pure, unadulterated crap. If they got those houses, someone must have laid out some serious cash. Not with their slow pays, bankruptcies, and a reality show income to rely on, even with Harry the credit guy 'helping' Robyn. And for the record, I refuse to call My Sister Wife's Closet a real business. An online business whose website was down the night of the premiere? So long, all those potential customers! Major Fail!

Now, I know you might be thinking about the parts I left out, like the segment with Meri crying about whether to try for a baby or not. Mariah and Kody's insensitivity towards Meri's indecisiveness on whether to try to have another baby. Or Kody's insensitivity towards Christine when she admitted being late on her car payment and the water bill. The reason I left those items out is that I'm sick and tired of it. Almost every show we see this. Enough already. It's getting really really old.

Meri needs to put up or shut up, Kody needs to man up and get a real job, and Mariah just needs to grow up.

And what are your thoughts?