Review S04 Ep09 : Meri's Baby Decision

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You know, after this episode, there are two things I never want to see again, ever. Can you guess which two things they are?




Anyway...

Once again, we see Kody running between his many homes, packing his clothes. This happens every time he goes on a trip and its getting really really old. It doesn't help to hear Kody say "...my closet is in every woman's house...er...every wife's house...er...every one of my wife's house...nevermind...My closet is in four homes..." Ya think? Who's fault is that, you nutcase? AND YOU LIKE IT!

Earth to Kody, we already have seen how you spread your clothes between your wive's abodes. It wasn't funny 2 years ago and it sure as hell isn't funny now. And would someone please tell whoever handles the background music enough already! It's bad enough we have to listen to a narcissistic man-child, but when that's coupled with cloyingly sweet background music, it's giving me a toothache !

Thank you. I feel better now...

Once more, we see Robyn's surrogacy offer to Meri. This is also getting old, too.  ENOUGH ALREADY! Meri, it's time for you to make up your mind about what you want to do! Next week is the finale, dammit!


And why is Meri literally hanging off of Kody during the couch interviews? Even Robyn doesn't hang off Kody like Meri does. Between Meri hanging off Kody on the show, and constantly calling him 'Lover' in her tweets, kind of reminds me of those desperate girls we use to know in high school, who, if they knew their boyfriend was about to break up with them, would cling so tight as to suffocate the guy. Not that he didn't deserve it, but it's not very pleasant to watch.

Damn, Meri. You're 41 years old. Act like an adult, not like some dang teenager! And would someone tell Kody to stop talking for Meri - she has a mouth and we have seen her use it. SHUT UP KODY, PLEASE!

FINALLY, Kody and Meri arrive in Cancun Mexico. Driving down the road in their red Mini Cooper with the top down, Meri has thoughts that maybe the other wives are feeling a little bit jealous. Unfortunately, this translates into Meri hoping the other wives are feeling a LOT JEALOUS. Leave it to Robyn to keep it real by saying "...You know I wasn't jealous that Meri was getting a trip to Mexico..." Yeah, SURE you weren't jealous.  NOT !!!

Meri and Kody  arrive at the condo they've 'rented' for their stay. Now, I'm not a great world traveller, but, what was the deal with the masking tape apparently holding the swing set together on their balcony, oops sorry, their 'private deck'? 

Don't they have Duct tape in Mexico? And do all the 'villas' come with their own house lizard? How...quaint...

Back in Las Vegas, we see Janelle and Christine getting ready to take their real estate license exam. Now, I don't want to give it away yet, but remember that look Janelle gave Christine a couple of episodes back? 'Nuff said.

Back in Mexico, we see Meri and Kody climbing an ancient Mayan pyramid. In what will be remembered as the most classless act on television, Kody shows his wet ass to the audience while exclaiming to Meri that he "sweat his pants".

Say whut???

I've never heard of sweaty pants, so of course, I googled it. Holy cow,  I could understand getting sweaty pants if one was sitting, for example, but Kody was CLIMBING, so how the hell did the sweat on his ass look like he sat in a puddle of water?

DON'T ANSWER THAT, PLEASE.

Kody, if you're reading this, I've found a remedy you might want to check into before you go on another hike. It's called Anti Monkey Butt, and it's a powder you can use to prevent...wetness. Hey, maybe you can become a distributor in Las Vegas????

And they even have a website! http://www.antimonkeybutt.com/  Good Luck!

Of course, Kody has to mention to his tour guides that he's a polygamist with 4 wives. Enough already, Kody. What do you want, a medal? WE GET IT, OK? You have 4 wives and 17 kids and 3 confirmed bankruptcies who spends money like its going out of style and has yet to find a JOB. Did I miss something?

The tour guides take Meri and Kody to a deep hole in the ground that's filled with water. Actually, this was rather exciting, almost like the underground water caves in the movie 'Sanctum'. Anyway, Meri threw her modesty to the wind and let it all hang out, if you know what I mean. Remember how she chastised Mykelti and told her to change her blouse? Seems Meri's motto for this segment was Do as I say, Not as I do.


Back to Las Vegas, where we find Robyn, Janelle and Christine meeting up at a restaurant to eat lunch and call Meri and Kody with the results of the real estate test. How sad -  Christine failed the test. Congrats Janelle on passing the test, but how sad for you that your own 'husband' doesn't even recognize your voice on the phone. Thank goodness Robyn was there to translate English into Brownspeak so Kody could understand at last, who passed and who failed the test.

Back to Cancun now, because Meri and Kody  have a date to play with the dolphins! After some inane banter about the tour guide possibly being a 5th wife, Meri and Kody meet up with some dolphins and have a fun time.  Kody says it's way more fun to do it than to watch it on TV. Yep Kody, you are right on the money with that one. BORING! but kind of exciting when Kody almost got decapitated when he rode the dolphins a little too close to that foot bridge!

Of course, Kody has planned a special dinner with Meri after the dolphins. Ever so delicately (NOT), he demands to know what Meri's intentions are about the surrogacy thing with Robyn. Meri doesn't know.  Meri cries, and Kody tries to look thoughtful. The audience is left thinking, Jiminy Crickets Meri, make up your mind already and Kody next time maybe you should hug your wife when she's crying and maybe consider 17 kids might be enough. The whole Robyn, Christine and Janelle debate about Meri wanting to try in vitro for herself just gives more credence to the theory that Robyn is already pregnant and can't be Meri's surrogate. Let's hope in next week's finale, we will find out for sure what the hell is going on.

And is that a Rolex Kody is wearing?